Jan / Feb 2007
The Only New Year’s Resolution You Will Ever Need
By Aurora Winter

Most people make New Year’s resolutions on January 1st. By the end of February, many feel depressed as they have failed to achieve their goals. What if you only need one resolution? What if this one simple, fun commitment would transform your entire life? What if this easy resolution would gradually work its magic and bring you everything that is in your highest and best good?
I will let you in on the secret, but first, let’s back up a little. Why do most people fail to achieve their New Year’s resolutions? Three reasons:

1) TOO MANY RESOLUTIONS
Most people make too many resolutions. You should only choose to change one habit at a time. Scientists have proven that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. A New Year’s resolution is a decision to form a new habit. Habits are inescapable — like gravity. We are all slaves to our habits. Good habits are the foundation of success. Bad habits sabotage our success.

Changing our habits requires enormous effort for the first 21 days. You are like a rocketship pulling away from the gravitational field of the earth — or in this case the gravitational force of your old habit. Almost all the fuel and energy is used at the very beginning of the journey. Once the rocketship is freed from the earth’s gravitational pull, it is smooth sailing. Very little effort is required to take the rocket ship all the rest of the way to the moon — or in the case of a new habit, all the rest of the way to your goal. Once you have formed a new habit, you can let it run on autopilot.

2) FORCING CHANGE
The second reason people fail to achieve their New Year’s resolutions is that they try to force themselves to change. One of my favorite books is “Power vs Force” by David Hawkins, MD, PhD. He makes it clear that whenever we try to force anything to happen, we are aligned with very low energy fields, and we are likely to fail.
In contrast, when we align with the Divine energy fields of love, peace, joy, and happiness — what Dr. Hawkins calls power — then things unfold easily and effortlessly. The entire Universe supports us.

3) FOCUS ON WHAT THEY DON’T WANT
The third reason people fail is because they are focused on what they don’t want to have happen. They don’t want to be fat. They don’t want to watch TV past midnight. They don’t want to have credit card debt.
Whatever you focus on, expands. If you are thinking about not being fat, your attention is on fat — and the Universe brings you more fat. It is essential to focus on the positive outcome: slim, rested, financially free.
Our mind is a powerful computer. It is up to each one of us to write the software program to produce the life of our dreams — not the life of our nightmares.
In summary, people fail to achieve their New Year’s resolutions because they make too many resolutions, try to force change, and focus on what they don’t want.

THE ONLY RESOLUTION YOU WILL EVER NEED
So what is this one simple, fun New Year’s Resolution that will gradually transform your whole life?
Decide that you are going to be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, “Happiness is a choice”, and modern science backs him up. Over 40% of our happiness is under our immediate, voluntary control. All people need is a little coaching and they can become much happier. It is one of the reasons I love speaking and coaching so much. I love to see people’s eyes light up with happiness.
Happiness is fun — it works like a magnet. As you spend more and more of your time being happy, you will notice that everything in your life gradually shifts to be in alignment with whatever makes you authentically happy.
You will notice that all those things on your old New Year’s resolution list are gradually happening — but this time, it is easy. It is almost as if they are happening by themselves! You are harnessing The Law of Attraction to bring good things to you. You are using power, not force.

WHAT IS AUTHENTIC HAPPINESS & HOW CAN I GET MORE OF IT?
Many people associate happiness with pleasure, and pleasure is part of happiness. But scientists have proven that our deepest sense of happiness comes from realizing our full potential.
In his book entitled “Flow”, Dr. Csikszentmihalyi establishes that authentic happiness is found in those activities where you are fully engaged and you lose all track of time. He calls this state “flow”. You are in “the zone”. You could be mountain-climbing, or playing tennis, or writing, or painting, or creating a business, or giving a speech, or closing a sale, or reading a story to your child. What brings you “flow” will be unique to you.
Pay attention to those activities that bring you “flow”. These activities are one key to your authentic happiness. You are expressing your core strengths. The more you design your life to express your core strengths, the happier you will be.
In addition to expressing your core strengths, consciousness is key to happiness. Become conscious of those things that bring you joy.
For example, flowers bring me joy, so I always have fresh-cut flowers in my home. Bringing happiness to others brings me joy, so I have chosen to structure my life to be a speaker, retreat leader, and coach, and have given up my previous job as a TV executive. Sharing my book with others brings me happiness, so I am genuinely happy to email my book to people for free.
What brings you happiness? Really pay attention. For example, I once had the idea that indulging in a big bowl of ice cream brought me happiness. But when I became mindful, I observed that it didn’t. Now, I savor a little ice cream — but I don’t have a big bowl. I am not depriving myself at all. I have observed that this maximizes my happiness.
Meaningful connections are the third key to happiness. People need people. Especially if you are going through a challenging time, such as after a divorce, the death of a loved one, or losing your job, it is absolutely essential that you reach out and ask for support.
Talk to your friends, a therapist, or a coach. Or attend a healing retreat. There is no need to suffer alone. A good coach will be able to dramatically accelerate your journey from heartbreak to happiness.
When we choose actions that bring happiness to others, our own happiness multiplies. Call a loved one. Tell your mentor how much they inspired you. Write a thank you card.
A Course in Miracles says, “God’s will for me is perfect happiness” and I believe that is true. Resolve to be happy. Focus on your core strengths, consciousness, and connections, and 2007 can be your happiest year ever!

Aurora Winter is founder of www.GriefCoachAcademy.com and author of “From Heartbreak to Happiness: An Intimate Diary of Healing.”

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “I read every page of this beautiful diary—it touched my heart and I know it will impact yours.”

Read Aurora’s book for FREE. Visit: www.FromHeartbreaktoHappiness.com,

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