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Nov / Dec
2007
Beat Stress & Re-energize with
The Peace MethodTM
By Aurora Winter
The Peace
MethodT is easy to learn, easy to remember, and easy to use.
I created The Peace MethodT so that you would have a
powerful, yet simple process to release stress and
re-energize.
In just five
steps, you can move from pain to peace. You can use it as a
structure for keeping your journal, or steps to walk through
when you are feeling stressed, angry, or upset.
The coaches I train use The Peace MethodT as a five-step
framework in talking to people who are upset or heartbroken,
and you can use it this way, too.
The Peace MethodT stands for:
P = Present Moment
E = Express Feelings
A = Accept the Situation
C = Consider the Contrary
E = Enthusiasm
This is just a quick overview of The Peace MethodT. I could
write a book to fully explain the benefits of this system.
However, the following executive summary will provide you with
a process that you can start using today. The Peace MethodT
works best if you explore one upsetting thought at a time, and
then work through all 5 steps.
P = Present Moment
The first step is to get centered in the present moment. Then
breathe. Upset feelings are rooted in our thoughts about the
past or the future. The present moment is the doorway to
peace.
When I lead
retreats or coach clients, I like to begin with a centering
meditation. I like this simple 4-breath meditation by Buddhist
monk Thich Nhat Hanh, author of Peace Is Every Step:
"Breathing in, I calm my body; Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful
moment!"
Q: Are you fully
and joyfully present right here, right now?
E = Express Feelings
It is very important to express what you are feeling - not
what you "should" be feeling. Don't be kind. Don't be
spiritual. Tell the truth - and release it. It is only your
truth for that moment, anyway.
When my husband died suddenly at the age of 33, I expressed my
feelings in my journal (which later became my book "From
Heartbreak To Happiness: An Intimate Diary of Healing").
Unexpressed
feelings are like food poisoning. If you stuff your feelings,
you get to keep them. Imagine two people who go out for dinner
and both get food poisoning. One of them throws up - and
lives. The other "stuffs it" - and dies.
It is absolutely
essential that you get whatever is bothering you out of your
system. You can express your feelings in your diary. Or talk
to a friend, therapist, or coach.
Q: Who (or what)
is bothering you? How should the situation be different?
A = Accept the Situation
Thoughts that you've been victimized repel happiness. When you
truly, deeply accept the situation, and I mean accept it as if
you had chosen it, you release all "victim" energy.
In my case, I was
blessed with a dream on the second anniversary of my husband's
death. In this dream, I met my husband at the airport and
raged, "How could you rip my heart out? How could you die
beside me?" I confronted him with his ultimate betrayal, "How
could you leave our son without his father?!"
In this dream, my
late husband asked me three questions, and these questions
changed my life.
The first
question was, "If you had it to do all over again, would you
still marry me?"
I thought for
just a moment, flooded with happy memories. I would take my
time with him, though it be short. "Yes."
If you had it to
do all over again, would you still have our son?" This time
the answer was quicker, surer. He is the light of my life, my
joy, my blessing! "Yes!"
And then he asked
the third and final question. And this question changed my
life. "Given that, would you want to know that I would die
young?"
His question made
me pause. I looked into my heart. After a very long moment, I
realized the answer.
"No." I would not
choose to taint our joy with dread.
This dream freed
me from the idea that I was a victim. I did not choose my
fate. And yet - had I been given a choice - I would have
chosen it.
You can free
yourself, too, by answering the following questions:
Q: How could you
accept this situation as if you had chosen it? What could
there possibly be to appreciate about the way things are?
C = Consider the Contrary
For a long time I thought, "My husband's death is the worst
thing that ever happened to me." That thought caused
incredible pain and suffering. But was that crushing thought
true?
My late husband gave me three priceless gifts. The first was
our son. The second was the experience of having my heart
broken. and opened. It profoundly changed me in ways that I
appreciate. It made me who I am today.
The third gift
was that his death sent my life in a direction I find deeply
meaningful and fulfilling. I have dedicated my life to helping
others go from heartbreak to happiness as quickly and easily
as possible.
On one level, my husband's death was the worst thing that
happened to me. But on another level, it could be received as
a gift.
Finding gifts -
even in the most unlikely situations - evaporates negative
feelings. What is left is gratitude.
Q: How could the
contrary be true? Where might there be a blessing in this
challenging situation?
E = Enthusiasm
I like to think that, before I was born, God asked for a
volunteer who would like to teach people how to go from
heartbreak to happiness. I thought that sounded like an
awesome life mission, and I enthusiastically volunteered.
And then God asked for a volunteer who would teach me
everything I needed to know to fulfill my mission. And my late
husband willingly volunteered. (And then he negotiated a
really awesome - though short - life.)
On January 17,
2005, Time Magazine reported Dr. Edward Diener's extensive
work on adaptation. He found that the loss of a spouse knocks
people lastingly below their normal happiness level. It
typically takes a widow 5-8 years to regain her previous sense
of well-being. I am passionate about changing this statistic.
It takes people a
very long time to heal because no one has taught them what to
do. It is not their fault.
My clients are
going from heartbreak to happiness in months - not in years. I
am enthusiastic about all the human happiness, fulfillment,
productivity, creativity, and potential that is regained by
giving people back years of their life.
I am only one
person and cannot personally reach out to every person dealing
with heartbreak. Every year in the U.S., over five million
people are dealing with death or divorce. So, I am
enthusiastic about the coaches I am training who will assist
me in guiding people From Heartbreak To HappinessT quickly and
easily.
Q: What are you enthusiastic about? What would you like
to create?
In summary, The
Peace MethodT helps you shift from pain to peace. Use these
five steps to help yourself - and help others:
1) Present Moment
2) Express Feelings
3) Accept The Situation
4) Consider the Contrary, and
5) Express Enthusiasm.
Aurora Winter is founder of The Peace MethodT and From
Heartbreak To HappinessT. She is a coach, speaker, and author
of: "From Heartbreak to Happiness: An Intimate Diary of
Healing."
Dr. Wayne Dyer said, "I read every page of this beautiful
diary-it touched my heart and I know it will impact yours."
Read Aurora's book for FREE. Visit:
www.AuroraWinter.com, to inquire about coach training,
coaching, or events, call (866) 344-3108.
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